April Again

As I enter into April, the month of my joy and my sadness, the very first few days again ask me for decisions in my life that will either affect or crush it. At 2.05am on the 3rd of April, I cannot sleep. I cannot close my eyes and not think about the future and where I am suppose to be headed. I am tired, again tired of choosing, I wished that some how someone else could think for me but then its my life isn't it? So who can think for me? Another 20 days to the day I was born, born to die? or born to suffer in the uncertainty of my sexuality, my life and my being. Another another year for me is about end and begin as I end and start and return to the begining as I enter the ending.

What will the decision I give tomorr affect my life for the next few years? Am I betraying a promise for my greater good? Or am I forgoing the option of my life for the moment of comfort now?

Tomorr will tell...