Crazy KTV!!!

How to work the balancing device?

How do your work the balancing device when both sides have different weights?...could there be a way to balance the weight of 10kg to 5kg? Can I make it balance this indifferent difference? What can be done when two persons drift away unknowingly when the previousness is still preserved in picture? When one clap but one stand still....is there sound? How can one drift from one when one doesn't drift from the other?

Changes in our lifes....

Recent events and happenings in my life has sort of shaken my world abit...mostly cause of recent convos with some people...that made me think about the happenings of the recent events. Seems like change is in the air these weeks. Change that may make or break me or him/her or we or them. It seems that as thou the issue of 'love', either friendship, relationship or kinship seems to revolve around the idea of possession and more. Is love never enough cause regardless of what form of love, as long as its earthly love it may or will never achieve the standard of agape love? Of the five love, we fail at agape the worst, cause I feel humans don't have the capacity of handle the kind of requirments of the agape....although it means unconditional love, but to be unconditional, there are conditions. Because we cannot see pass the uncon part of the entire picture and clouded bu the conditions of life. Maybe its the original sin at play, the greed, and conditions and the selfishness that bore in the apple. The apple being the vessel of greediness of wanting it all, the conditional love of everyone, and the selfishness of unwillingness to give up what we have.

Seeing the world now like that's, the events and people around me saddens me more to feel more along in this world, but not because that I can give agape and others can't because in actual fact I am more revolving in the three worlds of the original sin then others. No, but its more because I feel I may never find the person or people or group that I truly can love and be loved. If even a marriage can be broken in the light of new influence, if even marriage cannot stand the strain of time and space, if even the strongest friendship wave in the influence of a little branch that called from the tree, if friendships can become strayed cause no one seems to feel no one is right and themselves is wrong....then what is the purpose of this constant finding and searching and thinking and suffering for this 'love' that we may never find?

Today is a day of thots and feelings flying thru the air and time for me. I haven't felt so heart confused and head lost for along time. I am tired to handle such stuff at now this age but then will this ever stop in once lifetime? What can be hold on too in this lifetime that is actually real and do not change? I know now its not family...its not work...its not myself...and feelings and thots tell me now its may not be even love.

This flipping from "frame 20 to 21" maybe the hardest for the people around and myself this period. We cannot see the path in front, there is a cliff behind and there is no one around but "us"...The sands of time for this frame of our life has stopped and we maybe powerless to do anything.

I maybe unknowingly knowing that I am lost something so dear and precious to me...that I may just forget and never look back again. To turn around the enter the pit of the ending cliff falling into the past of my life. How to ask someone if that should I worry?...We struggle on this problem and I see now daylight or breaking of the night anytime soon or ever.

Like twigs that fell into the river, some comes together in a current, and with another current of the river we will separate. Some will journey on, either alone or together, others will get stuck behind the river bed of rocks, some smashing into pieces as the current slams it against the rocks of the river, and others just disappearing unknowing why and how it happened.

Wii at its best!!

My present for my Bestie....Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

In action of play...

Tired...meaningless life...

After getting sick for awhile...after a few years working for nothing but money, I feel like my lift is leading to something meaningless. I start with strenght but totally drained by the world of money and stuff...drained by my means and the means of others. Till this very day and very moment, I question what is my life leading too? What do I get up everyday for? There is no joy, no life and definitely no passion for this life I live in. Love left me, family is almost gone, job deserted me, only friends hold me on...but is that enough?...

I feel like letting go...just into the deepest sleep I am find and never waking up....slumbering till a time when life itself cease to exist.

Whats life?...Whats this breathe that I draw?...Is it living or being lived...

Maybe my time is over, I had the greatest time in life...I had my greatest love before...there is nothing standing in the way of me and the tunnel to the other side...

Maybe my leap of faith is into the tunnel to the other side...maybe this leap will save me...

I wonder...