Admire but cannot take

Think my life is a game of admire and let go...alot of stuff admired and yet I had to let go..cause either I can never get it or that I can never achieve it...

Finding myself...in the midst of chaos

Well finding and re-discovering myself in the midst of complete chaos.... It has been a tough road and the road will get worst I know...but finding myself is the only way I can find the purpose to live for. Now life is a adrift for me...just drifiting from one point to another...no direct decisions made no one path I wanna walk, except for being pushed by the wave time and time again. I wanna find my purpose, my goal and my ultimate ending....the ending to my story. It seems like for now everything stop is an ending point...but somehow I know there is tons of stuff infront waiting for me...for me to come and grab it...to achieve it to survive it....to grow and learn...to discover my true self... But for now the ups and DOWNS in life are taking up my hands and I got no free hand to handle anything beyond this... I am waiting for my big break...something to happen...something to come.... my BIG BREAK in life that will repeal me to the path and the ending of my life...may it be 1 yr, 5 yrs or 50 yrs more...I finding to belong, to be holded, to be purposeful, to be ME...

So I come to the age old questions of 'Who am I?' and ' What do I wan?'...

Question that can hopefully be answered only in time...

Drifters

Drift
(n) to float around unpredicting and unevenly
(verb) Drifting:action of floating around

I am a drifter....and its time to drift again...

I HATE LIFE SO MUCH

I HATE LIFE SO MUCH NOW....SEEMS LIKE IFE THROWS ME A CURVE BALL IN EVERY INTERVAL....WHY CAUSE I SUCK....CAUSE ITS ALL MY FAULT...

I WANNA LET GO!!!!

The Greatest Distance...

The grestest distance between two persons
Is not that you are oblivious to our love
But then when I am infront of you
And we both love each other
and fate keeps us apart forever

Orange and Apple

Is an orange and orange? Of course some would say...but is an orange an apple also? Hmmm a question that not many will answer correctly or wrongly. Cause there is no right or wrong answer. Its a matter or perception that we see the orange as an apple or an orange. Then the inital name of the fruit is no more 'orange' but then just fruit. So wat fruit is that some ask, some will answer orange some will answer apple and some answer its both or neither. So which is the 'correct' answer? Who defines the correct answer and marks the criteria and outline of what and when it is an orange and not an apple and when it is an apple and not an orange and when its both or neither? As another fruit, let it be watermelon, which also cannot tell if the 'fruit' in question is an orange or an apple. What basis of it is an orange or an apple do we do out analysis? Would it be worst if the undefined 'fruit' suddenly wan to be called watermelon?...then where does this place the old 'watermelon' that always thot it was a watermelon? What can help the old 'watermelon' find weather it itself is a watermelon or is it another fruit which it itself does not know? What if the old 'watermelon' decides to give the name of 'watermelon' to the undefine fruit and simply just walk away? What will happen then in the entire fruit of the forest? I can tell you nothing cause the names of watermelon and orange and apple is no important. But the only important thing is that one is happy the other will be happy walking away.

Anyone got the moral of the story?

我可能要放開你的手

These days my heart feels weird like the world around me has finally done its final spin as the world starts to slow down bit by bit as it somes to a stop. It feels even more now that I may have to let go of something so precious to me....these days my hearts feels like its mimic-ing the song 手放開....like I got to let go if its the right thing to do....if I really love I would let go......cause its happiness more important then anything else, but not for me...

So as my heart enters this hollow mood, enjoy the MV below..