What can I offer?

Just got MSNed by a friend to look at an album of photos of friends on a boat. Very nice pics and ver fit guys, nice girls...but got me thinking....What do I have to offer when others can offer a hundred a thousand times more then even on my best most hardworking days. I just get tired nowadays seeing pics of people who surpass me even on their weakest days. It makes me think if all I am doing now is worth it or not. I am tired, just tired....I think the only thing that can change me mind is to turn back time... But it cannot be done.....can it?

F.A.M.I.L.Y for me has become F.A.M.I.H.Y.....

I seen a SG production before that said that FAMILY actually stands for Father And Mother I Love You....some how after this week the word has changed from that to FAMIHY which stands for Father And Mother I Hate You....

Feeling the Jesus Pain...

Now I understand what it can feel like to be blame for the sins of others, the default defaulter, the one who apparently is the one responsible for all the bad stuff. To put aside life for everyone but then no one knows or no one cares. This agony and frustration is unbearable.

I realised that I am back in a room screaming but no one is listening. All only hear the words of condemnation from the crowd but cannot hear the cries of the one suffering the pain in silence.

Can I break out? Is breakout also wrong? It will be in the eyes of the 'crowd' but do I care anymore? Can I be as graceful as the one from above? I am but only human....

Who will heard my scream from the calvary?

Wanna Fly

This day is a horrible day...I just wanna forget it but I fear that it will haunt me for quite sometime. I fear that I have given up on everything.

The me now just wanna fly, fly away from this place, this sad hurtful place and restart. But I can't can I. I cannot just click on restart like I would a computer and hope that everything will restart. I cannot just cast a spell like charm and undo the entire situation.

Is it my fault from the beginning or that it was my fault for not understanding more?. I don't know. All I know is I wanna cry now, hope someone will hold me.

But there isn't anyone. there isn't anyone around. And my tear cannot flow...it is stuck...