Trying to stay postive. But...

Trying so hard to stay positive but hmmmm. I am feeling trapped again....


Augy Bogy from iPhone

To Continue...

Another friday night, another weekend on the way, will this be the last one? Feeling very hard to carry on, really tired from everything, worring every month, living like this. But I know the root of the problem stems from my doing, but its now just too hard to handle, too hard to face. I suppose I am just tired from juggling something so out of my limits. Another friday night, another night alone, alone in this world of silence. I have settled everything else, only left is the road less taken now, will I be strong enough to do it?...I dont know....

For now

I am feeling damn shit now....the feeling of falling off a cliff, not free falling but more plunging to death...I suppose both about the same....feel like crying, tearing almost every day yet there is not one....But is really no one or that I dont wan anyone around? I dont know...

Living with a family....Living with people for that matter...

I realised that I have come so far living along that I feel strange then there are other people in the house, even if they are family....its like my whole big space has been invaded into and I cannot be as normal as I used to be...weird weird weird...

Irony...

Just had the most fantastic dinner but not because the dinner was fantastic, which is was, but because of the company. The night ended with a frantic search of oranges for Joot's hampers. But the night really ended over a cup of Ice Lemon Tea and Chestnut drink when we discussed a good friend's recent encounter with the A.S event. Irony of Irony that the facts mentioned mimics the life I lead now and that every aspect mentioned was my life. Am I the next victim for the A.S symdrone? I dont know...maybe, maybe not....but it seems very likely. The next few days till the 2nd would determine it.

If I can some how do it all over again....

I am wishing now that if I can do it all over again....wishing that I can restart my life all over again....but think its too late....the road is getting less and less to travel.....am I at the end already?

I realised...

I realised now that there is only two choices I can choose from...either I end the pathway or I got to branch out.....

End of the Road...

I am reaching the end of the road....

Miss me

Listening to Loving and Forgiving song suddenly feel that will anyone miss me if I am gone?


Augy Bogy from iPhone

Loving and Forgiving....

Loving and Forgiving

At home now...just suddenly remembered a psalm sung by Tam at Mel's wedding...so went to find it on youtube....it actually have...hahaha...I was surprised.....

Refrain:
Loving and forgiving are you, O Lord;
slow to anger, rich in kindness,
loving and forgiving are you.

All my being bless the Lord;
bless the holy name of God.
All my being bless the Lord,
remembering the goodness of God.

God forgives us all our sins,
healing those who live in pain,
saving us from final death.
God fills us with goodness and love.

Good and gracious is the Lord,
slow to anger, rich in love.
God remembers not our sins;
forgiving and loving is God.

As heaven soars above the earth,
so great the love of God for us.
As far as east is from west,
the Lord takes our sins from us