Realisation....No Reverse Gear...No U-Turn...

I realised that in this world, nothing is real except the reality we build for ourself. Cause in this reality we are king, we own the world, we can fly, we look fantastic, we are the centre of attraction, and nothings can stop us or get us down. But outside of this world, this self created world, we are just who we are...nothing more nothing less. Everything that we are now, is what we have made us to be. Some people more good choices than others, some more bad choices then other. We make who we are. I realised today on my way to work that time goes forward. And that that we cannot go back...to redo what we wan to do now cause we know it would be better. How could I have know that if I continued to play soccer in secondary school could change me now?..or if I have sticked to nijatsui when I was learn younger that I would have achieved so much more like what I would want to become. Some people believe in reincarnation, althought I am a Cat and so its not my believe, but even if I did, that change can only be made in my next life and that life now is still going forwards. I am driving a car that moves forward, no reverse gear or left right turns to do a U-ee...

So I am stuck in this now...who and what I am, of course nothing more, and definitely nothing less. I want to change but its too late. Some say its never too late but what is the meaning of late in these people vs my 'late'...they will never know, or that if anyone here would know. Cause if I could have known better, known earlier. I would have changed...so much earlier. Then maybe I could be a different person, a different me, a different life....